Revenge Is a Dish Best Served With a Meat Pie and a Clean Shave

Tim Burton's latest film adaptation, "Sweeney Todd", is a dark comic-musical about a barber bent on vengeance after being falsely imprisoned for a number of years and returns to find that his only daughter is in the clutches of the judge who imprisoned him, and although it is a movie that was not made for the faint of heart(that is if musicals make you just as queasy as a meat pie made out of a priest), there is more than enough charm in this movie to make this film one of this year's best. Despite the fact that most of Sweeney Todd is scripted in song, Tim Burton's unique portrayal of Gothic elements are second to none and are always enjoyable to see. The performances were fantastic as expected from the likes of Depp and Bonham-Carter, and the visual scenery was, as expected from Burton - exceptional in it's Gothic visage. All in all, Sweeney Todd is a must-see movie, that is as long as you can withstand an hour and a half of singing in the place of dialogue or if your stomach can stand the gruesome display of a maniac barber whose best friends are as sharp as the movie's wit.

Attention Amateur Script-Writers With No Talent - THERE IS STILL HOPE FOR SUCCESS

I have never so badly wanted to go deaf, dumb and blind before undergoing the massive torture that anxiously awaited me 2 minutes into this horribly written disaster of a film. Evidently, you can't always rely on a good cast to relieve the burden of a horrible script and a scatterbrained, amateur story-line, but such was the hope of stripper-turned-journalist-turned-wannabe "Zach Braff" - Diablo Cody. I can't even believe the high ratings and positive reviews(by credible sources) that this movie has received, nor can I believe the script and dialogue's comparison's to Gilmore Girl's, a television show truly landmarking of professional script-writing and exceptional mastery in story-line construction. Above all and oddly enough, the dialogue in this film embarrassed me. I guess I must have felt impossibly ashamed that another human being would write line after line of amateur dialogue that did nothing but expose the simpleton mind of Diablo Cody, who apparently thinks people say things like "This is one doodle you can't undid, homeskillet". And by the way, if you include lines like that in a movie, don't try and make it sound cool, expose it for what it truly is - LAME. Oh, and don't forget the forced scenes that either A.) were obviously attempts at eliciting cheer or ovation and nothing else, or B.) were too under-thought and absurd, pointless and unnecessary and whose sole existence within the film was made to arrive at a desired endpoint to further the storyline and could have easily been left out or at revised(i.e., were Juno and that future-foster dad supposed to get it on or what?). Amateur rubbish at it's worst is all that Juno equates to.

Superbad: A Title That Forewarns The Nature of The Language Used, Not To The Quality of The Film Itself, Which Is...

All hail the inauguration of verbal pornography! Hear Hear! August presented us with Judd Apatow's latest midas-touched movie, Superbad. A movie filled with a plot as overused as ever, but still always as awkwardly and outrageously hilarious as expected from a movie within this genre. As foul-mouthed as this movie is, it is easy to place it in the top with the greats, as long as you can tolerate the stomach-wrenching dialog(just don't go see this with your mother).

What's so good about a movie where every word out of the protagonist's mouth is one involving creative detailing of sexual and inappropriate acts that in all actuality never really happen but could easily be invented by the overly sexual imaginations of mid-pubescent teens on the verge of high school graduation, anyway? Well, there's something comical to be found in the creative exchange of dialog between the two main characters, Seth, who is played by the foul-mouthed Jonah Hill, and the more respectable yet slightly less comical of the two, Evan, who is played by Michael Cera. There is something daring by taking things farther than predecessors such as American Pie, that make this a movie filled with laughs.

Bottom-line, American Pie was an instant classic within this genre that pushed the limits at the time it was presented. A movie of this genre calls for pushing the limits and testing boundaries of what the audience will find acceptable from a "teen" comedy involving high school students. Why does it call for this? Because the real audience tends to be 17 and above and includes adults who have long-since denied the existing nature of the verbal content and going-ons between teens, which are ever-so liberal and ever-so sexual. Superbad is to the portrayal of 17 year old virgin teen boys as Saving Private Ryan was to the portrayal of World War II, as close as movie-going audiences have yet to see, and as stomach-wrenchingly honest as movie-going audiences would not like to see, although the truth can be a pleasant discomfort at times.

These days it costs a pretty penny to see a movie, whether at theatres, to rent, or to purchase on DVD, but if you can tolerate a movie that is verbal pornography and is most likely the funniest movie ever written, then you can afford to see this movie.